Thursday, November 12, 2009

Day Fifty-three

I started to write last night but was so tired I was falling asleep at the computer. I don't know if I mentioned this or not but after I was able to decrypt three of the five files Michele sent. It is taking an enormous amount of time reading through them. For example, the first file is 66 pages. The second is 144 pages and the third is 156 pages. So, between and full time job, a full time wife and mother and football, I don't have much discretionary time to filter through all of the correspondence. However!! This morning I discovered several messages that fit the time line of late November and early December.

Just wanted to recap and remind you (and me) of somethings. Some ( a lot) of our correspondence was done verbally via telephone or in person. So, I'm having a hard enough time remembering my name much less a conversation I had with someone 6 years ago. I'm not sure that we have all the written correspondence associated with our endeavors, either. I am attempting to remember it as much the way it was as possible but there are more than likely discrepancies of time and of instances because of the lapse of time since 2003.

As I mentioned in a previous post, after I returned home from my parents from Thanksgiving and Jack had left a message on my answering service, it was evident that we needed to switch things up. At this point Michele took more of the initiative with Jack and I backed off waiting to hear from her. Here is her initial response to his first emails.

Dear Janet,
Thanks so much for sending the letters to me. I can see why this posed such a quandary to you. Its long, rambling, and its hard to reconcile some of the time frames that he mentions. Also, I can see how he pushes all emotional buttons. Its hard to remain indifferent to his suffering. He certainly trotted it all out, the psychological suffering, the poverty stricken wife, the huge loan overshadowing them, his old age, his heart attack, his suicide attempts, his loneliness, his hermetic lifestyle, his great love for his children, his great affection for US. I don't think he missed a single beat.

May I just throw out some thoughts that I have after reading it? Many you have mentioned already...but I just want to go over a way, it helps desensitize me by doing this. He justifies his attraction to kids as a way of resolving his terrible, terrible, loneliness. He was never a "cold plotting predator", just a lonely, isolated guy with no-one else to turn to. The kids were just there. Can you blame him? He was all by himself on Miyake with nothing but the fish he was studying. He had a great affection for us kids. He really loved us! (I never saw him as a confused, messed up individual, did you? I thought he was pretty organized and friendly and got along well with people.)

He quit ASIJ in 1984 after he got his Doctoral Degree. How does that fit in with him "leaving in 2000"? Do you suppose he left and came back purely "off-campus"? Could something have happened in 1984 involving a child. I can't believe that ASIJ fired him in 2000 based on one letter, judging by their historical inactivity. I'm beginning to suspect other stuff happened. I really want to know who those other 2 were. Maybe he got caught two other times?

"I think my children should have roots, and they will live in the Philippines after I die, (many, many references to his death), so it is best they get a good education there." In justifying why they are there, and he is is Japan, this sentence makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. If anything, it has to be more expensive for him because he is maintaining two households. I think it has to do with his old wife. How does he explain us living in Tokyo, knowing we would end up in the US or another country after we graduated. Its totally hypocritical.

Don't go after me. If you do, you will only be hurting my children and my poverty stricken (extreme!), subsistence-level existing wife who has a huge $40,000 loan hanging over her head. I have only a limited, fixed income. I need my schools for the survival of my family. I live alone at the edge of poverty and send all the money I earn to help my wife and kids. Exposing me will destroy THEM not me. Remember for the first time in my life, I found peace and happiness with them. He lived alone while still working with the ASIJ Miyake program, because he had a heart attack, and needed his 8 hours of sleep, not because he couldn't be near children.

He is consultant, administrator and adviser to programs that work with children. But he does not live with children or interact with them by himself. He doesn't even know the kids names or remember their faces. I find this a tad difficult to imagine. Do you suppose he just remembers their bodies?

Just thoughts to throw into the air. Let me know when you hear from him. I will wait until you do. I have some other questions for him, mostly financial ones to start with. I'm sure he has a pension from the school. In the Philippines, a third world country, a small pension can go a very very long way. Most of San Miguel are retirees living like kings on their meager pensions.

One very good thing about these letters are, he does admit that he is/was a pedophile.

I sent an email to ASIJ today, to push them into some action. I have waited a month, I think its time for some answers about some programs. A friend is sending me a telephone directory with all the current students, names, addresses and telephone numbers. I told him I don't want to start contacting these parents on my own, I would rather do it with the blessing and in conjunction with, ASIJ. But it was a bit assertive.

I told him you heard from Jack and that Jack admitted to his pedophilia, nothing more. And that it doesn't let ASIJ off the hook in terms of their lack of responsiveness. This admission of his is a tremendous relief isn't it? I guess this is more than I ever expected.

Thanks and love,

Gotta run. School and work! I'll write more later.

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