Another reason I think why people don't want to get involved is because the perpetrator often is someone who is fun, funny, loving, important, famous..........
and nobody wants to rock the boat. If you find this interesting, keep reading to see how the school and board of directors responded when, years later, I contacted the school to report this. You will be completely amazed.
Okay, enough speculation and back to the story. A little more about Jack. He was the 7th grade (and maybe 8th grade) girls basketball coach. I was on the 7th grade team. I don't remember if I was on the 8th and 9th grade team - my sister has all the Chochin's (yearbooks) - that's where I would get the information. Remember, not much memories from 8th and 9th grade. Jack also taught scuba diving. I wanted to learn to scuba dive so badly. Because of my poor vision, it made it difficult for me to see while I was swimming, so Jack purchased a prescription scuba mask for me. This is significant in that my parents couldn't afford the lessons or equipment, so I was unable to take the class, however; he still purchased the mask for me. I just googled prescription scuba masks and in today's pricing they run about $60. I don't know how much they cost back then.
Another thing he did was purchase my first pair of contacts. Back in the seventies, contact lenses were very new and more expensive than glasses. My parents didn't think they were necessary. The only kind they sold were the hard lenses (which I still wear to this day - not the same pair but the same kind). Both of these gifts were highly inappropriate for a teacher to purchase for a student. However, you can see how very cleverly he was setting me up.
I just had an incredible memory and thought. Another thing I struggled with when I was in junior high was my skin. My skin was very sensitive and susceptible to rashes. I contracted the very infectious skin disease called Impetigo. It was all over my hands. It is a staph infection on the skin and gets very infected and if left alone could kill you. My gymnastics coach noticed it and sent me to the school nurse. She immediately called my parents and they took me to the doctor. The doctor scared the living bejesus out of me. He said to me, "Young lady. You could die from this." Like I was deliberately avoiding the doctor. Duh! His statement, though, scared me so much. I didn't want to die. I already thought I had cancer and now this. I was trying to cover it up, however, because I wanted to complete in the upcoming gymnastics meet. That didn't happen.
Well, one of the trips to Miyake, I had some kind of a skin issue. I remember Jack putting this skin cream on my skin and making me lie nude in the sun on a large rock near the beach, away from everyone else, thank God. I guess he thought the sun would heal my skin. But I just had this thought. If what I had was contagious and he ended up with what I had, that would have been a very interesting dilemma for him.
Wow, I don't think I could have written that five years ago. A lot of what I experienced with Jack made me feel very dependent upon him and very humiliated. He never said to me, "Now, don't go telling your parents about us." He didn't have to. I wouldn't tell anyone this! What would happen to me? I trusted him and valued the relationship so much that the painful part was worth it. It's hard to admit that someone had that much power over me. It causes feelings of weakness and being totally helpless and hopeless or TH&H. That must be why I was given that nick name.
I don't think I have anymore in me today. That was a bunch. Remind me tomorrow, or later if it's the case, to tell you about the old women living under the road.
[Short break]
Day Eight Final
That was probably the best sushi I have had in a while. Sushi Yama in Baton Rouge. The guy got my order wrong but it was still very fresh and very good. Thank you, Sushi Yama. It's really hard to find a good sushi place in the States because most are not owned by Japanese, but this really was exceptionally good. My friends who are completely and every bit American suggested Sushi Yama and it really is good. Thanks, Stotts!
After my last post, I felt a bit drained. I ordered sushi but before I picked it up I stopped by the local Walmart to pick up dog and cat food. I also picked up two gallons of Klienpeter milk, which will be gone by Monday - my boys drink a lot of milk. As I was walking through the store I started feeling a little exposed. I imagine that I will have a dream tonight about running through the halls of school naked. Am I the only one that has that dream?
While contemplating my feelings, I realized that part of writing this blog does lend itself to selfishness. Finally, someone knows my story. Finally, someone is listening. But the other side is that I'm communicating with people who I barely know who have gone through the same thing or even worse. And not 39 [or 45] years ago but much more recently. You see, it's still happening. Maybe not to me, or maybe not to you but to someone you love. In fact, statistically one in every four women and one in every six men have been sexually abused.
I also received communications from someone I don't know. The email felt a little abrasive or crass. Maybe it wasn't intended that way but you decide for yourself. My response follows:
Email to me from ?: "I'm wondering why you are bothering to change the name of the teacher in your blog when you linked to a bio of him with his full name and you use the school's name? It is obvious who you are talking about, even to people who may not have known him. Why not just say who it is? And if you are going to change names, why didn't you change the school name too?" [Editors note: Since all has finally been exposed, I went back and changed his name from "Mr. J" to Jack Moyer.]
My response: "I guess you have a point. But, I thought protecting his son might be more important. Most people who are reading my blog know who he is. There's no reason for his son's children, friends or colleagues to know. They would have to do research to make the connection. But if you googled 's name, my blog wouldn't come up. Hope that covers the question. With regards to the school, I have no interest in protecting it. Who are you?"
I guess, if I were to hide Jack's name and the name of the school, then I should also go undercover? My new nickname is: ten -twenty two. Whenever you hear that, you will know it's me. You can also look for 10:22 or 10-22. Oh, I forgot, you can also google TH&H. It will probably come up as well. I'm sorry, it's getting late and I don't really know how to respond to that kind of email. I know I will have negative reactions. but if you are so concerned about my not identifying who is who is, why not identify yourself Mr. or Mrs. email person. (note: I didn't identify who you are. I'll leave that up to you.) Okay, I'm getting testy. I need to go.
Hello Janet,
ReplyDeleteAll of this story is very close to home for me, closer than I realized until reading each day's entry. The memories you have of being 11 and 12 in Tokyo, attending ASIJ, being a survivor of CSA (age 5 for me), living close enough to walk to school, best friends with missionary kids who lived at the edge of the teachers compound not far from the golf course. All of this is too familiar and yet it is also a warm blanket of comfort to know that you understand my life at that time. You see, I left ASIJ just when you arrived. My parents were teachers at the school, they loved and respected J. Moyer, and our family thrived on the critical thinking skills we gained at this prestigious cutting-edge school. Upon leaving Japan, I longed to be accepted in our new country of Canada, which I knew nothing about, could not even identify a 'dime' when the store lady asked and then mocked me for not knowing (had she said 10 cents, I could have managed). Japan did not prepare me for North American culture, though my white-skinned face made me look the part, so I learned to 'pass'after coming 'home'. This all led to fitting in with a wild crowd who experimented with drugs and alcohol. At age 16, I was date-raped at a party. Looking back, the multiple sexual assaults I experienced seem like a slow set-up that started on that fateful day when I was five and exploring my friends attic where a 20 year-old man-boy lurked naked in a bed...
Thank you for writing this, there are not many who understand the cultural problems of growing up in foreign lands and trying so hard to fit in. Ironically, some of the women who were sexually assaulted by Jack Moyer are the same girls that I played with near and at ASIJ. By God's grace, I am not in this particular story, but at the same time, you are telling a larger story and certainly my story. Thank you so very much.