Monday, October 5, 2009

Day Twenty-nine - Thumb Drive - Continuation of 100 Anniversary of ASIJ

I have or had two thumb drives. Both had information on them pertaining to this journey. The one that had the most information on it was stolen out of my office. Unfortunately, I lost all that information, however, the other thumb drive had about 25 files on it so I downloaded those and printed them off and am in the process of going through them as well as the dreaded file.

The dreaded file contains a lot of information. I'm really glad I printed off all of that information. I did it so I could share it with the attorneys. I'm sure it's in disarray so I need to organize it to get a better picture of what transpired. This weekend I plan to go to Dauphin Island by myself(in the Gulf of Mexico) where we have a fish camp and go through all this stuff. Hopefully, I'll get it in order and can write about it after that. But in the meantime, I'll go forward with my memories and write more that way.

After Michele and I were re-introduced at the 2003 reunion, every hope I had for the reunion went down the tube. I really wanted to have a normal reunion, where friends got together, went down memory lane and really just have a good time. You know, this should have been taken care of a long time ago. I shouldn't have had to suffer again in 2003 and go through all this stuff again. Why didn't someone take care of this before, when it was first reported. And through this process, I found out that it had been reported long before I entered the picture.

Another consequence of this being brought up again at this reunion was that I felt alienated from many of my friends. Again, I started feeling that desperate feeling of being accepted and again I was humiliated and again I was alone. Being in this state of narcissism is really quite unhealthy. I felt like all eyes were on me and people were talking about me behind my back. It is really not a good place to be. People through out the reunion were talking about the "girls" who were molested by Jack. I heard that different groups were talking about it and even found out that the new headmaster had been given a heads up about it. Can you imagine entering a new job and this is the first thing you have to face? I recall hearing that one ASIJ alum approached the new headmaster to tell him that this was the topic of conversation around the Centennial celebration. At this point I felt so exposed and scared.

I do remember looking at the previous administrator in the face and really feeling contempt for him. I'm not sure that is even a strong enough word. He was moving on to another school, knew all this had happened but along with the board of directors decided not to communicate with me, brushed in under the carpet, basically acted as if it didn't happen. I did find out that somewhere along the way they "dismissed" Jack. How this happened I don't know. I do know though that despite their "dismissal" of him they still allowed the 7th grade classes go to Miyake on their annual trip up until the volcano erupted in 2000. [Sidebar: - I now know that Tim Thorton (junior administrator?) was tasked with the job to tell Jack he could no longer be associated with ASIJ. - Source:  Tim Thorton told me that in December of 2013 when he called me to let me know about ASIJ finally admitting that this happened.]

I did talk with several people who told me about their experiences with Jack. Finally, I started realizing I wasn't alone. There were others out there who went through similar stuff. Little did I know how many people had.

One very positive memory I have was the connection with fellow MK's. You know, I love my fellow MK's as if they were my own brothers or sisters. I also felt like the older guys who were in my sister's class or around there about, were there to protect me. That felt really good.

In 2003, after the reunion, all this stuff started being circulated via email. I received support, admonition, disdain and love. It was a roller coaster of emotions. Probably, the most hurtful thing was the "friends" I thought I had in high school didn't respond, reply, call, email, comment-either negatively or positively, didn't reply to emails I sent.  Nothing. That was very disappointing and probably hurt the most.

Well, that's all for now.

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